Executive Influencer T-Shirts

"All those in favour of my idea signify by saying 'I get to keep my job'."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"We're not really fighting, mom. We just need a little drama for our YouTube channel. Subscribers equal money."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

"Where do you expect to be ten years from now?"

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"This is off our first TikTok."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Witches of Instagram

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

"Remember when we were Instagram models?"

Creativity 2.0

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"I only told a few friends."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

'Then it's agreed -- we'll prepare a pamphlet showing how the public could save money with our company and then get it on Ophrah's book list ... '