Executive Decision-making Critic Pillows

'I'm giving myself a 30% increase this year. Please work out how many redundancies we need to cover it.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Office temperature.

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

'My last comment appeared to be inviting feedback. Do not be fooled.'

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

"Quick, let's make the decision before everyone else shows up!"

"Nobody wants to merge with us."

Boss: Suggestion Box Bin

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'As you know, Wilson, our CEO screwed up big time, so he was fired and gets a big bonus. But because of his mistakes, you just get fired.'

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"Those are wonderful insights jack but we're, Looking for actual ideas."

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled: Stay The Course and Cut And Run.

Waste Management.

'If there's one thing I've learnt from being a good manager, it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

"It's the new management structure, the worker's the one at the bottom..."

"Anyone who opposes my proposal lift an arm!"

'How can the employees accuse me of running a sweatshop? Don't I let them go home after midnight?'

'Finally, here's your chance to do something extraordinarily good for our company - quit and start working for the competitor!'

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

The Buck Stops Here.

Employer of the month...and every month.

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

"I like your attitude, Peterson!"

"Workers have obligation to limit their economic demands to make the USA more competitive!"

'I'm bringing you into the decision-making process, Ruggles. Here -- flip this coin.'