Executive Comics Fan T-Shirts

'What happened to you? I giggled in the board meeting.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

Water company bonus.

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

'This is the latest management structure...It'll help you see where you fit in...'

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

'Stop complaining and be thankful we found a place for you in the restructuring!'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'We don't have an opening at the moment, but if you'll wait one minute...'

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

'You understand, Yomp, it's not me speaking. It's the corporation!'

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'I solved the union problem. I made everyone management!'

"Think nothing of it, Llewellyn. In every large organisation there are leeks."

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

'I hear they bought out Winken, Blinken and Nod.'

'Come along, Caswell, we have a new slot for you in accounting.'

'Work production rose significantly once we closed all the curtains in the windows.'

"What would a competent person do?"

'Another corporation I wouldn't have minded so much, but this was a hostile takeover by my secretary!'

I Have A Closed Mind.

"When I said you need to change I didn't mean it into ME!"

"Sorry, we have to let you go. You've grown too tall for our cubicles."

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'