Exam Results Day Gifts

A level results

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

". . . and A* in Teacher's Pet!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

"Remember, history was easier back in your day. There's so much more of it now."

Pesky students.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Pull and all nighter...

"How would I explain the 'D' in debate class? Probably not very well."

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

"You told me not to bring home another bad report card so I brought home Billy's."

'Columbus might not have sailed over the edge, but I did.'

'How could you flunk multiplication?'

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Examiners.

'How can you make so many mistakes in one report?'

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

"You can't see a grief counselor just because you got a 'B'."