Evolutionary Biologist T-Shirts

"The arms wouldn't be so noticeable if he'd stop playing air guitar."

Devolution is Real

The Evolution Of Man

"I guess this is where we part ways."

"Memo to self: 'Feathers?'"

Pre-man - Man - Post-man.

'Now that our brains have evolved, we can hold grudges.'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"Well, if it isn't the dawn of civilization."

The birth of self-consciousnss: 'Holy smoke, I'm standing here!'

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

'Everything's a tradeoff - now that I can walk upright, I can't wiggle my ears any more.'

Are We There Yet?

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Historic Moments in Human Evolution

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'You look different -- have you been evolving or something'

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

Cell splitting - don't do that.

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

'let's work with what we've got -- take a few of the more promising apes, and add some extra memory.'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Sorry, Oog, but you're out of compliance with the evolution protocols.'

"It's about time."

"Gee, evolution is slow."

"See? Look what happened to Ook! - I WARNED you about evolution."

"It could never work, Richard. I'm going to be a gefilte fish, and you're not."

Paradigms: Gravity - Evolution by natural selection - A watched autoclave never boils.

"Mental note to self: rethink theory of survival of the fittest."

Evolving Door.

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

The Theory of Evolution.

'Early life his its first thought...' 'There must be more to life than this.'

"Stop arguing about who got here first and hurry it up, already!"

Why humans don't have tails.