Evil Villain Analyst T-Shirts

"I thought it had a lot to say about evil villains who want to take over the world."

US and the EU

Scarpia from Tosca

"Oceans are rising, landmass is shrinking - so far so good."

More Pardons

Woke Jersey Shore

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

'Dang, it looks like they have found out about my plan to take over the world...'

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

Andrew Marr

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

Advantages of being bald # 3 - Evil villain movie parts.

Caped Character

How your grandparents act vs. how your grandparents vote.

'With my technical expertise, I could conquer the world!' - 'Do you and your little friend want some cookies?'

"I hate finding billing codes for this guy..."

"And it's a hybrid. It can run on either high octane gasoline or the tears of your enemies!"

"He may be evil, but his breath is like air conditioning."

"These things work better if you don't explain the plot."

"Sorry, I'm the Amazing People Watcher. I'm going all I can."

"There just aren't any good parts."

Actually, we're not looking for an evil genius right now.

Max von Sydow

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

"Your next fattened kid could be your last."

The following blank screen is brought to you by the Booksellers of America.

Television: Vast Wasteland. . .Vaster Wasteland.