Everyday Life Satirist Pillows

Don't you hate... washroom sinks that never deliver any hot water... and drinking fountains that only deliver hot water.

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Hoodie Hang-out

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"Progress is going around in the same circle...but faster."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

Peter

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

'I can validate both your feelings and your parking.'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

Snowman Driver

This is where Brent council sends you

'I thought you said, 'What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom'!'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"Yes, Myra, I do still love you. What I don't love, however, is this exit poll every damned morning."

How much for the lamp post?

"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

"Jeremy sits in his hi-tech car all day and telecommutes from our driveway."

'What's the antidote for espresso?'

Rocket charmer.

"In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen episodes."

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

"We will now observe a moment of silently checking our BlackBerrys."

'I'm bored.'