Event Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

"I know I was ecstatic to get tickets for Glastonbury - it's just that now I realise I have to go."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"You really whipped it in there."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

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Hotel Reception in a Convention Center

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'

'She's just ring through - held up at the hairdressers.'

"I don't care if he is one of the few dissenting voices around. Make him stop whispering in my ear!"

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'I applied for 80,000 tickets in the ballot.'

And you call yourself a scalper.

"Hi, this is RFK Jr." "Who?" "I'm just calling to remind you I'm still running for president." "Oh. Ok, now you have a good time." "I'm also calling to remind you I'm available for speaking engagements at your large rally, small rally, bar mitzvah, or assorted car wash openings." "Would you like me to speak at your function?" "Oh no, that's all right. Don't worry about it."

"It's worth it to buy the tuxedo even if you only go to two black tie events."

Faraway Looks.

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Face painting.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

All dressed up and no place to go

The Running of the Brie

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

I came, I saw, I partied!

Extra Long-jump

"Oh, he's so romantic."

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

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