Event Attender Pillows

"Why do you have to come? Because I went to your Super Bowl, that's why."

Sloaney Pony.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"You've got to blurb me to her."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

"Any apologies for absence?"

You think you're good, eh? Okay, you've got the lost and found windo at the Kleptomaniac's Convention.

"I couldn't actually see the band but here's a photo of them on the person in front of me's phone."

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

Lost and found at a magician's convention

"Hold yer fire! It's just a t-shirt cannon!"

'I think I see why attendance has been down.'

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

Man leaves stretch limousine in a stretch wheelchair.

Olympic Catering: 'A small coffee please.'