Evening Routine T-Shirts

"There, now you're in your pyjamas too."

Late night teddy reading

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Toothbrush Romance

'Would you like a push Dear?'

',,,and they all lived happily ever after, Now close your eyes and go to sleep'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Your princess voice is kind of patronizing."

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

"Sweet dreams my little tax break."

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

''...And they all lived slap-happily ever after.''

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Read it again, Daddy!"