Eurocritic Gifts

'Give me the Cheddar not the Camembert....'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

We need a Europe of U-turns.

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

The new Physics

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Republican politics!

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"I'm not the responsible party. I have people for that."

"You'll never believe who's here."

Samuel Beckett

"Hang on! - we've possibly go another couple of films left in here!!"