Euphemism Admirer T-Shirts

"Great coffee, Carole."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Torturing the English Language

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Reading my Critics

Ancient Racing

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

"Out damn Spot

Cow's straw

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

TV jester.

On the brink.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Dolphin friendly tuna

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

Gym Dog

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

A.M Gorky

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

A Poem about Sand