Euphemism Admirer Mugs

"Great coffee, Carole."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Reading my Critics

Ancient Racing

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

"Out damn Spot

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Dolphin friendly tuna

Cow's straw

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

On the brink.

TV jester.

Nails pinning down the hammer that usually strikes them.

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Gym Dog

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

The Raven in Flight

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

A Poem about Sand