Etiquette Humorist Pillows

Man-spreading, Dutch style.

"Pssst! It's the invisible man. Try not to stare at his new hair piece."

Nothing to be taken from this window until 10 a.m.

'How about using a knife like everyone else?'

'it's okay. The package says 'facial quality'.'

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

Please Wipe Your Big Feet!

Ethics exam cheater.

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

'I understand he has a hard boiled management style.'

Three-way mirror

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

"We want supervisors who know noses and never leave a grindstone unturned."

"I see from your resume you have a black belt in accountancy."

"Baxter, I'm doing an online course in delegating and I want you to sit the exam for me."

"I figured my family could use a padded cell. Actually, I just buy toilet paper in bulk."

"Good news! Your bankruptcy is only moral."

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD

"I'm pretty sure the term is 'interface,' not 'in your face.'"

"No, I don't call it 'sexual harassment'. I call it casual friday!"

'Hunch your shoulders, Son.'

To Hell with Protocol, Walk In

'There's nothing wrong with you, but I'd still like to operate on you. There's a sweet motorcycle I'd like to buy, and I need the money.'

"You're doing it wrong."

'You either need an antihistamine or a heart transplant -- I'll have to check your credit rating to be sure.'

Man crawling onto island sees sign saying no shirt, no shoes, no service.

'So? What's the problem?'

'On one hand, I'm ashamed to sell nothing but cheap crap. On the other hand, I'm glad I make a lot of money doing it, so I don't have to buy cheap crap...'

"Yes, I'm vegan and no longer eat the prey animals but it's still a lot of fun to kill them!"

"At least I'm learning right from wrong."

Harold...your human is open.

Man teeing off: 'Hole 6 Par Fore!'

"They always remember 'bring a dish,' but they always forget 'to pass.'"