Ethics Activist Gifts

Arms Industry increases sales by 8.5%

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Ethics exam cheater.

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

Slavery Reparations

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Moulting"

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'We're getting back to first principles...which means we're going to have some.'

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

'Way too much information on your resume.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

Anonymous Donations

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."