Ethical Puzzler Gifts

Cigarettes arriving at Animal Research Centre - Hooray!

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

The Price of Freedom

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

Surgical Self-Service

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

Corruption trial in the Vatican

30% Heredity, 70% Environment

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

"It's official, Michael has filed for moral bankruptcy."

"Right, we could go with the ethical decision, but let's not panic yet."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'Don't tell me this nonsense doesn't violate the code of bioethics.'

'Do everything ethically ... within reason, of course.'

"Hey, Gary? As a general rule we don't play God up here."

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

"We love your results. We're just a weeny bit concerned about your methods."

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

'Would it be more economical for them to develop their own comparable product, or steal the competition's formulae and fight it out in the courts?'

"Nothing about selling inside trade secrets?"

I can't decide if you make me want to be a better man, a better lawyer or a better liar. ! !

A doctor in her kitchen agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug on her ailing toaster.

'Oh, good - you brought The Broom of Honesty, Dignity and Self Respect.'

'Of course I'm telling the truth. I only lie to people who pay me!'

"What would Aristotle do?"