Ethical Dilemma Enthusiast Gifts

The angel and the devil.

'I'm concerned about your felony conviction. This company prides itself on having the kind of employees who don't get caught.'

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Squeezing the Free Press.

Others will fight for you

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

"Hi, Bob - your consultants have just arrived."

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

"Moulting"

Stoneage business ethics: 'But, hey, this 'ethics' stuff isn't carved in stone!'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

"These are the care instructions. And if things don’t work out, there’s a recipe on the back."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

'It's not the same. I was caught stealing office supplies. You, on the other hand, got caught stealing ideas.'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"Do you know that we saved a ton of money on legal fees by being more ethical?"

'Dayton, you're a decent, respectable, ethical, honest and nice guy. What the hell are you up to?'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

"No offence Jon, but..."

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"