Ethical Consumers Pillows

"I'm also returning these Ivanka Trump brand clothes. They chafe my morals."

A Daily Prescription for Politically-Correct Conspicuous Consumers.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

View to the Future

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"We're odd looking but just as good."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

'The U.S. has less than 5% of the world's population, but consumes 25% of its natural resources. Pretty outrageous, isn't it?'

"Is it free-range?"