Ethereal Satire Enthusiast Pillows

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

"I hate his 'holier than thou' attitude."

"It's Irv Pelton, Mr. Mather, from the Voice Crying in the Wilderness Department."

'I miss the evildoers.'

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'We haven't had a client in weeks - maybe we should make a promotional video.'

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

Heaven Has VIP

'I'm on a diet -- I only eat illusory things.'

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

'I thought everybody would be equal here'

For one embarrassing week, heaven ran out of normal wings,

"Hi there! - Would you mind if I come in and talk about the Devil..?"

I agree it's kind of sad...but it was just a matter of time.

"What do you think of the new offering buckets Preacher?"

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

'First of all, thank you for enrolling in our rewards program.'

"I was very relieved. I expected to spend eternity on hold."

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'

Wiper Swiper. A vagrant extorts money from motorist.

Red Indian in a restaurant, "Have you a reservation, sir?""Well, I'm not crazy about the flock wall-paper"

Heaven II

"I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

'I'm not saying he's neurotic, but he has serious left-and-right hemisphere issues.'

"Shadow figures on laundry day"

Snobs club: Press 1 to speak to a somebody, press 2 to speak to a nobody.

Fakir has chamber pot with nails.