Ethereal Humor Lover Pillows

Listen, I know you're omniscient - You don't need to say "spoiler alert" every time you tell me something.

"Good game."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

'Anything good on tonight?'

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

"I hate his 'holier than thou' attitude."

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

'I miss the evildoers.'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'-and I'll tell you something else-it beats playing the harp!'

Man turns into an angel.

'I thought everybody would be equal here'

Fresh ground?

For one embarrassing week, heaven ran out of normal wings,

Frontispiece to 'A Book of Bargains' by V O'Sullivan- Depicts an Apparition from one of the Stories

I just figured moths would have their own heaven.

I agree it's kind of sad...but it was just a matter of time.

Survey results: 9 out of 10 angels feel that dancing on the head of a pin is demeaning and potentially quite hazardous.

'I'm happy for eternity, but I still miss happy hour.'

Ted’s Cloud

Flight Insurance for Angels.

You don't need to say "now I've seen everything" all the time. We get the whole omniscient thing.

'Don't worry dear, he's waiting for a fly.'

"Shadow figures on laundry day"

"Now let's try the other other other eye."

'Thank you for contacting The Pearly Gates. Your call may be monitored for training purposes...'

"I was very relieved. I expected to spend eternity on hold."

Heaven II

"Wait. Don't look. O.K., over my left shoulder-is that God?"

'Heulluva Mark.'