Eternal Sports Spirit Pillows

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Go team!

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"In times like these we all have to pull together, to work flexibly. We need to operate outside of our traditional roles for the greater good."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Strive to win!

Men can show their emotions!

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

'It's up to you, either synch or swim.'

"If I put mustaches on all of us, we look more like a team."

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

Team Leader

Football supporters.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"