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If aliens' first contact is with a dad...

"Take me to you liter."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Back to school.

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Driverless cars rage.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."