Estranged Partner Pillows

"Well, Wanda, as long as we're skipping the legal niceties, I don't care much for YOUR attorney, either!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

'Sorry Henry, but I'm looking for something a little more permanent.'

'Where Are They Now?'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

'Look, I want you back, but I'm not going to beg.'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"People Change"

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

Squawk! The parrot goes or I go! The parrot goes or I go! Squawk!

'Never mind that you could have bought Microsoft years ago - I could have married Bill Gates,'

'Your ex is calling. Her investment club bought 51 of the company, and you're fired!'

"...Then she took the divorce settlement money...and set up a company that's putting me out of business."

'If cupid shot me with his arrow this week, it would bounce right off!'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

"I'm not a vindictive person, Charles. When your chickens do come home to roost I hope they're free range chickens."

Generation Ex.

'Darling, this is my ex. You know, the one I said you were twice the man of.'

Revenge Graffiti.

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'