Estate Planning Pillows

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

'Ocean view, or would you prefer to watch them fight over the will?'

Next, I remember looking down at my body, and my kids fighting over the will.

'Have you considered making your will?'

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

'We just created a living trust and I have no idea what to feed it.'

Contest of wills.

'He kept changing his will. In the end, it all went to legal fees.'

"The good news is you probably have enough time to write a will."

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'Sorry son, I spent all your inheritence fighting inheritence tax.'

'I'm afraid his lordship is in his 'disinherit the lot of you'mood today!'

"Apparently, he was a firm believer in reincarnation... He's left everything to himself."

"Apparently the will was typed up wrong and UCLA got all your husband's money...and you get his brain!"

"Being of sound mind, you must know that I'm leaving you absolutely nothing."

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

Graph Your Relatives!

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

'I want my will to be a dead giveaway.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'What if something terrible should happen and nothing happens to him?'

'Forget it, sonny. My power of attorney is all sorted out.'

"Chaunce! It's for you!"

The Human Comedy - Reading the Last Will

"I stopped believing in free will when I had my lawyer write mine."

"He intends to die with dignity. He desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

Did You Make A Will?

To find out exactly what I thought of everyone I knew, go to: www.brutallyhonest.com.

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

"I don't want to be an alarmist, but there's a dumpster in the driveway."

"Someday this will all be yours, or so you think until you find out at my last will and testament that I left everything to my hot, young trophy wife and you curse my soul to eternal damnation."

"That reminds me, we must sort out your will."

'One day, after they unfreeze my DNA, this will all be mine again.'

'Years ago he got his investment back, plus millions in interest, so he's leaving everything to Bernard Madoff.'