Essay Expert T-Shirts

Studying and technology

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

'He was a great writer'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

"How'd I do on the test?"

'Can you debunk my essay?'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

Older woman explains how to see off men with one of her looks

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

NeighWoof.

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

"O.K., I admit it, we're lost, but the important thing is to remain focussed on whose fault it is."

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

Shakespeare or Bacon or maybe Marlowe.

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"Or perhaps we could just have them wear these 'M-for-Muslim' patches...."

Jonathan Swift.

Fyodor Sologub

'In the first place, my domestic science teacher wanted to show me how to cook but now, she wants me to write an essay about the difference between onions and bulbs!'

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

"You tend to overuse the exclamation point."

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

Walt Whitman sounds his barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.