Error Message Enthusiast Pillows

'For an English translation of what the tech support person says, press 2...'

"...This computer will self-destruct in 10 seconds"

'It's fixed now, but technical support doesn't want you to touch the computer again.'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Will eat your homework for $.

Bob tries to get off on a technicality.

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

"I'm good enough at making excuses that I don't have to be good at anything else!"

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'There's a Mr Tilbin here to see you sir. Shall I tell him you're on the phone, in a meeting, or out of the office?'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'Your homework got washed away with your house! A likely story young man! See me after class!'

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

"My dad ate my homework."

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"Sorry I'm late. I took the stairs."

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

'Sorry I'm late. I woke up on my back, and you know how turtles are.'

'Not tonight, Rodney - I have to delete e-mails.'

"I put catnip on my homework. I think he'll eat it!"

"I have bad knees."

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

"I can't help the fact he's fallen in love with the barmaids poodle."

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

Room for Error

'84% of our losses are due to accounting errors.'

Password - hotdog. Sorry - not long enough.

"I didn't it, I read it, so guess who just graduated cum laude from Dinsdale High?"

An Excellent Excuse.