Epos Systems Expert Gifts

Till malfunction

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

Online Shopping.

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'We're e-bankrupt.'

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"I got it from eBay."

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

"You can find me on Inkedin."

"When you order your dictator from Temu"

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

CIA Recommended TVs

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

"I'm not looking forward to telling the 300 salesmen we're going to start selling on the internet."

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

'So far we've only managed to grab this one little piece of the web commerce puzzle.'

Help! Bought IPOs with IOUs.

"Is there a geek of any kind in the house?"

Dogfights/Drone Fights