Environmentally Conscious Gifts

"Sorry Rudolf, but we've gone solar."

'... 'Bite it,' I said. 'It's catch and release,' I said ... Now I feel horrible.'

Bigfoot Carbon Footprint.

"Why didn't you tell me before you were a strict vegetarian?"

REPENT! Get back to nature

Small Pension

How was your eco prom? Great. Even the popular kids got into it and turned green. Congratulations. Thanks, dad. Did they have too much "punch"? It wasn't organic.

"Finally we can sit outside and not have to worry about all that cigarette smoke!"

This certificate entitles you to one year's worth of heating for your bedroom, love, Santa.

Drinking to forget

Sports futility vehicles

I keep taking him back because I'm a big believer in recycling

Experimenting with other forms of transport

"I'm all for rubbish separation at souce: edible and no-edible!"

'...I can't stand noisy neighbors!'

Addicted to Oil

"Do you every worry that the world's ending and we're just sitting here waiting for brunch?"

"Ugh! It's impossible to find a car dumping place round here."

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go pee where you live.

SOS

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Man using to much bug spray

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"We'll always have Paris..."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

Bee flying to another flower.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

Sport Utility Boot.

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."