Environmental Satire Fan Gifts

'He's going to a better place . . . possibly to power an '86 jetta.'

'I can't believe no one else knows about this beach.'

"Killing the environment with sackfuls of gift tat, i-gadgets, single-use packaging, and novelty socks - anything other than: 'Ho-Ho-Ho!' to add to your defense?"

"I don't know anything about global warming, but these ice cubes are melting like crazy."

Industrial Pollution

"I think you'd better switch the water feature off."

'We had to modify the wrecking ball so PETA wold stop complaining.'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

I told you we were late!

How life on Earth really got its start.

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"The Nominees"

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

Another hot flash?

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

'Professor Blaupunkt's research, funded by the I.R.S., is to find any signs of taxes on other planets.'

New uses for excess coal

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste