Environmental Satire Fan Gifts

'I can't believe no one else knows about this beach.'

"Killing the environment with sackfuls of gift tat, i-gadgets, single-use packaging, and novelty socks - anything other than: 'Ho-Ho-Ho!' to add to your defense?"

"I don't know anything about global warming, but these ice cubes are melting like crazy."

Industrial Pollution

"I think you'd better switch the water feature off."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I'm going to get you fired."

How life on Earth really got its start.

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"The Nominees"

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

'Today we will lock the monkey in a room...' 'Why do I volunteer for this?'

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

"I'm an optimist. I have every confidence that global warming will be nullified by nuclear winter."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

'Professor Blaupunkt's research, funded by the I.R.S., is to find any signs of taxes on other planets.'

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

Frosty decides to have a carrot job

New uses for excess coal

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

"I dreamed I was being chased by a giant standardized test."

'Please inform groundskeeping that the green space is invading my personal space.'

Even with record Antarctic sea ice, nature finds ways to survive....