Entomology T-Shirts

"You slept with her, didn't you?"

"Nonsense, Mother. You'll probably outlive us all."

'My feet are killing me. I have twenty corns and thirty bunions.'

"After we have sex but before I kill you, I'm going to need your help with some shelves."

'Okay this test is scheduled for three hours, Fruit fly, you can be excused if you need to die,'

Kamakazi Flies

"Once you go butterfly you'll never go back."

"You said your pictures were recent."

"Looks like someone got lucky."

'You'd never get me up in one of those things!'

'... And this watch comes with lifetime warranty.'

'Is this a foreleg? Back leg? Antenna?....'

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

'Today's agenda - 1:Emerge, 2:Eat, 3:Mate, 4:Die.'

"It's all marketing - no one actually wears that stuff."

'First of all we want to have our name changed from 'cockroach' to 'companion beetle'.' (Insect PR).

'I hurt my back last week, so I've been put on 'Light Duty' for a couple of weeks...'

Contractor Ants

"I can say with certainty that we can all look forward to a great summer season."

Michelle was the first in her class to pupate.

"Live today like you're gonna die tomorrow Gus. But we're fruit flies so it's true."

'You think you have problems! Try being a male ladybug.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'So...where do you see yourself in 5 minutes time?'

Play dead. We have to make them think their new sprays work.

'Oh Darren, I just love what you've done with your dung.'

"Of course you're busy. We're all busy."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nobody wants to hang out with Bedbug Man."

'I'm sorry sweetie, this just isn't working... you've changed!'

"Good. Now, this time, also flap our wings."

'Wow, you're absolutely right! From up here, they look EXACTLY like us!'

Fire Ants.

"Looks like you've got carpenter ants."

"Well, I'll be darned. They had just walked away."