Enthusiastic E-shopper Gifts

"I love online shopping. Every day is like Christmas!"

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

Terms and conditions

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'You've got to give Tom credit. When he's searching for parts for his car online, nothing bothers him...and I mean nothing!'

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."

"Alexa...order my shopping!"

This isn't a good time to see him --- He just got outbid for a soul on eBay. Beelzebub.

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

Click - 'View basket' - 'click' - 'Proceed to checkout.' - 'Con't untick box if you don't not want to not recieve e-mail marketing.' - 'Calm, Peel. Calm...' -

"I didn't hear the full story, but you came from either the stork or ebay."

Drones

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I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

"I'm developing an app that solves the problem of not being able to buy things slightly more conveniently."

"I'm just checking eBay to see if there's any movement on that new liver you need."

We have an all volunteer workforce, and we're still losing money!

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

'That's the last time I buy sled dogs on ebay.'

Shopaholic

"I am exercising. I'm doing some online walking around an online mall."

Amazon Delivery to a Nest

"I picked him up cheap on eBay."