Enthusiastic Audience T-Shirts

A human cannon with an extended clip

Taking a peek at the audience

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

'Fine presentation, Matthews, but, lose the wiggle dance.'

Applause

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

"You've got to give Hunter top marks for presentation."

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'I wish your father wouldn't dance at weddings. It's so embarrassing.'

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

David Letterman

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

"We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea."

"Some are born old."

Public speaking

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

The Wagners show off their new flying fish.

Lady to man with many birds: 'You would have to buy a mimic!'

'Ever thought of applying for a place in a studio audience?'

Sample Ballot - Throw some of the bums out or throw all of the bums out.

'Does my bum look big on this'

'As I gaze out upon this sea of smiling faces ... albeit sleeping ... but nevertheless smiling faces ... '

An audience with an audience!