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The First Fire Stick

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Zoo.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

End the Winter Blues

Wolf Karaoke

Big screen TV.

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'Red rover, red rover, send Billy right over!'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"She's all over YouTube."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

Photobooth Photobomb

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

Medieval headlines.