Entertainment Officer T-Shirts

"Welcome - pleased to meet you! I'm the Entertainments Officer..."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Mum, I got the job!"

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Moulin Rouge Security

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

JET (Part I)

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

Sid Sinatra.

TV stage door

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Trump commissions song