Entertainment Junkies T-Shirts

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'$3000 for a digital hi-def T.V., and there's still nothing on!'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Reese Witherspoon

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Big screen TV.

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"Spoiler alert."

Movies vs. Films

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'

Medieval headlines.

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

Starvation Watching

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

7 More Dwarfs

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

How I met your mother

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Mog The Week

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'