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New Gods

Showbiz Awards

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Big screen TV.

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Big screen TV falling through floor

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"The end of my favorite series is near."

Nerdy man wagging his finger.

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.