Entering The Housing Market Gifts

"I think we are finally ready to buy a house! What's the market like?"

'Want a new house? Time to start groveling again.'

"We had something in your price range. . . but it was condemned!"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'I remember when all this was fields.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Try not to think of it as a box, but rather as an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accommodation!"

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

Real Estate Personals

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'The Dow has shot up 2.5% on positive data on housing - until five minutes from now, when it'll be interpreted differently.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

Home Foreclosed Home.

'It's all about location, location, location!'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

House hunting is cruel.

Turtle Home

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Those who fail to learn from the past will be forced to relive it.

Dog Realtor

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'