Enrolling In A Degree Program Pillows

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"One year closer to college!"

Graduates on their phones

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

"I wouldn't mind...But he's the teacher."

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

End of Affirmative Action

The farm-raised catfish goes to college

The timing doesn't work for eco-club to start a garden. I have a better idea. Build a compost bin. You can recycle the school's leaves and grass clippings. You'll have good soil for a garden next spring. That's not enough time for college admissions essays. Write about the trauma of delayed gratification. Never heard of it.

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

Ohm. He has a degree in electrical engineering!

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

Universidad

"We're students and we don't like this sculpture. Have it removed by tomorrow."

"I wrote my thesis on 'Tears of A Clown: Irony or Paradox?'"

I'm freaking out! Thursday is dress rehearsal. Nerves? Work! I've got a math and history test on Friday. Why did I ever sign up for the spring musical? Because it's fun? West Fester High School. On my college application it'll look like I had fun. It'll go with your "Looks aren't important" essay.

'I'm enrolling in an online course to learn how to apply for a loan for an online university.'

Night Owl

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

Ticking the right boxes.

Do as many study days as you can

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

"Mum, Dad, I've decided to go to University. I want to party for 5 years before I start work"

"This is for business administration, this is for economics, and this one is for just showing up for class."

'Do you offer a degree in punditry?'

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'

'Ever since she got that MBA on the Internet, she's been impossible to live with.'

'I see you have a rich and generous father. You're in.'

'I started going to school with Mary and loved it so much I kept on going and ended up with a PhD...'

'Perpetual Sutdent Syndrome Clinic' Director: R. Chones, BA, MA, PhD, MSW, MBA.