Enlightenment Through Style Pillows

'I know it's cold up here, but you can't attain enlightenment wearing a hat like THAT.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

Guru.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Do you have pants in XL?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"All the celebrities come here."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

OM, SWEET OM

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).