Enlightenment Through Style Pillows

'I know it's cold up here, but you can't attain enlightenment wearing a hat like THAT.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Guru.

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"All the celebrities come here."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"Do you have pants in XL?"

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

OM, SWEET OM

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

Truth