Enjoys Tax-time Absurdities Gifts

'How much for you to do my tax return?'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'It's tax avoidance crackdown avoidance.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

'Giving to the poor is deductible, Mr. Hood, but taking from the rich is still problematic.'

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

tax

Tax relief

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

'The hair-raising twists and turns, the mystery, numbing assault on the mind...THAT'S why I love tax law!'

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

Rhinestone Accountant

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

'Sorry to interrupt - your monastery is on fire...the IRS wants to talk to you - and something about a missing case of wine.'

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"