Enjoyer Of Humorous Tales Pillows

"He was riding his motorcycle with his mouth open! Let's just say it was an unpleasant experience for both of us..."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Jack London

"Just go ahead. It's my last day here and I hate this place."

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

Litteratti K9s.

Scenic View offers mountain with cherry on top.

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

Will Self deprecation

"Friday, YOU were my Secret Santa?"

Golf escape.

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

'How was your luck, dear?'

"'T' vicar?"

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

'....and how big was this bee, Sir?'

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

The death Tax = Loads of Cash.

"I myself don't see much hope for an inter-utensil relationship."

Little Dutch Boy in an Hourglass

"Yes, I'm the good fairy but I can grant only one wish instead of three. Budget cuts, you know?"

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

Cheshire cat meets Cheshire dog

"This one allows release of your information to a sitcom."

Incognito Cheshire

A sign in the front window of a bookstore says "Meet the Pope 2 p.m."

Ear Doctor.

Wordilly Durdillies - Hammylet

"Well, he can't have gone far. He knows he's not allowed to go up the stairs."

'This is Man Tuesday.. He changed his name by deed poll.'

"Can't you see I'm busy? Quit humaning me."

"I don't know whether to be mad because you want to disallow my trip to the lake, or flattered because you think there was something fishy about it."

'I just dreamt that I was the world, kung fu champion!'