English Counties Explorer Gifts

Welcome to Essex: Conditions Apply

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

The Monitor is going to sleep.

"We should get out to the country more often."

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

"He knows 'sit, stay, paw' and 'upstate.'"

Dogs and Chickens

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

Tree Squirrel

"I'm going to be late... my driverless car is stick behind an autonomous tractor."

"I didn't want you doing what you did on our last date."

Just in time

Car Journey.

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Sheep.

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

Hiker's right of way.

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

"Yeah, my grandpa is a famous water diviner: he's discovered 63 wells to date..."

"It doesn't matter how many people tell me I'm beautiful. Inside, I still feel like the fat caterpillar all the other kids teased unmercifully!"

And now it's time for "Critic's Corner." Today, Gene will criticize the basic structure of the universe.

"Oh lord, I think we're in a Japanese horror movie!"

Welcome to the Lake District.

Artist Satying in the Country

Land's End

Oooh! That's handy (Pulling draw out of chest).

'Big deal, I'd rather have a beer.'

'I told you to get a move on, now you're completely overgrown.'