Engineering Gifts

"We began with a hip replacement and just sort of riffed off that."

'I've changed my mind, instead of becoming 'Lord of the Jungle' I want to be a mechanical engineer.'

"I'm not doubting that it does the job well. All I'm saying is that it might be a little more than is actually necessary."

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"I've checked, rechecked and triple checked this circuit and it should work!! You electrons aren't cooperating!"

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

"Gracie, just because you understand internal combustion engines...doesn't mean you can drive."

"…And just what do you think you're going to do with your silly death ray once you've finished it?!"

"I design retinal-controlled destination-mapping interfaces for self-driving transportation, but not in the traditional sense."

'I'll fix you! But Good!'

'To be honest, I would have never invented the wheel if not for Urg's ground breaking theoretical work with the circle.'

'And here's our new and improved version.'

'We're almost fully automated now.'

"It's my design unless it falls down...then it's yours."

'What you mean the specs are being changed again?!?'

"We've decided to add forty floors."

'I told you your idea of wheels on a cart was unworkable.'

'Alright, alright, you've won your bet: You can lift me with one hand...'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

Employees of the Month

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

'Art, art, art - When are we going to get some engineers?'

Shortcut out of maze.

'When we say 'it's not rocket science' we mean it's something far more complicated.'

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

Man rolling ball up a hill

"I invent things to complain about."

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

New wireless telephone poles.

'My grandfather always used to say 'Son, if it ain't dysfunctional, don't attempt preemptive maintenance intervention on it.' Or something like that.'

When Engineers Crack.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

''Infrastructure'? - You mean like rocks and sticks?'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Caution slippery pyramid' sign on ancient Egyptian pyramids.