Engine Talker T-Shirts

"There's a 'thbump, thbump' when I walk upstairs, and then I hear a low 'ka-chink, ka-chink' going around corners, and I'm having trouble getting my horn to work."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Car Dentistry.

'In her day, she did all the work for me, now I'm doing all the work for her.'

Biker At Museum

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

Cardiologist/Truckdiologist: Medical help for Trucks.

When did you last have your oil changed?

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

"It's worse than I thought."

Cow outboard engine

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

"Oh...that's not good."

Auto Assembly. Ernie, I think they fired you because you were assigned to the assembly line but ere often at the high-speed test facility. I'm ambitious. I wanted to be on the fast track. Why did you remove brakes from cars? An article I read said that to achieve success you should "pull out all the stops." And I unnecessarily drove cars around the plant to show the bosses that I'm willing to "go the extra mile." But why did you refuse to deliver components to the assembly line? The arti

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

"Yeah, my master is a car enthusiast too, but instead of going on joy-rides with me, he spends his weekends tinkering with the engine..."