Energy Bill Slasher Gifts

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

US Energy Needs.

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

"This is crazy! We've been here only 10 minutes, we've spent all our money, and we've got nothing to show for it!"

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Oil shock.

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

Put it in petty cash.

Why is there a problem with the EU's independence?

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"They're spelt differently!"

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'What we must decide is if there is an accidental nuclear explosion which wipes out this entire part of the country, do we pass the cost on to the consumer?'

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."

'If you can't beat 'em join 'em.'

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."