Energy Bill Slasher Gifts

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

'Congratulations, Forester. Your ingenious scheme to cut production costs ... In anticipation of this inevitable development, we are reducing your salary.'

US Energy Needs.

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Oil shock.

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

Why is there a problem with the EU's independence?

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"They're spelt differently!"

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'What we must decide is if there is an accidental nuclear explosion which wipes out this entire part of the country, do we pass the cost on to the consumer?'

"We're cutting costs now, so get rid of the petting zoo."

"Hang the expense, Potter. If you need another pencil, order it."

"It's a ransom note from our energy supplier!"