End-times Discussions Pillows

'Bugger!'

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

The End is Relative

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"The season finale of the world is near."

'It looks like our time is up.'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"My novel? I've put it on hold. I'm writing my response in case I get asked to do on eof those 'How I write' columns..."

The Doomed Character

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

' 'cock-a-doodle-doo' out of whack!'

Modern day doomsayer

'You're new at this, aren't you?'

'Well, we'd better review the tapes.'

"Happy now, you jerk?"

"He's on life support. Mostly support."

'You can take that off now.'

"Do you believe in predestination?"

'Heck, I'm prepared for anything!'

"I really enjoyed the Bible."

Strikes notices a doomsayer on the picket line.

"Village church. Monday: Apocalypse. No bingo."

Rudy, stop thinking about it. About what? About how if the dark ages had never happened, we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now. Instead of poking acks on your me-phone, you'd have a chip implanted up your whatsits that'd let you do anything you could imagine. My phone says without the dark ages, we'd have had no renaissance - so you science-haters are RESPONSIBLE for my me-phone. Stalemate.

"He never was one for long shots."

World Ends April 15th: 'Tell me something I don't already know.'

'The Rapture! It happened! We've been left behind!'

Uncle Sam the maggot

"Of course I have a lot of empathy for the poor. . . As long as their quarter is far away from mine."

'It's been 3 weeks and still no rapture...I'm not waitin' that long fah you to pay yaw'r bah tab.'

'The right wing is a little uncomfortable. I was a Democrat.'