End Of Warranty Gifts

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

Where your mind & battle are los

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Football team discussions.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

'Johnson, if you're going to have negative thoughts, I suggest you get rid of that thought balloon!'

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

"105% of the staff who completed 84% of the process were 95% sure that it was a 100% waste of time."

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"And while violations of our ethical code were up sharply this year, I think it's important to remember that last year we were amazingly ethical."

'A Fucking Drink'

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

Family Sidecar

Genius Bar

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. So let's all do our best to forget how great last year's revenues were."

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."

Vaccination leads to the end of Covid restrictions.

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

Friday, 5.30pm...dreaming of beer.

...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... MIDNIGHT!

And this computer comes with a three year warranty, but of course it'll be obsolete in 6 months.

"My digital planner exploding may be a sign I'm way too busy."

"You'll never believe what kind of bumper-to-bumper warranty this baby has."