End Of Track Season Gifts

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"Portrait of a Lady"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Church for sports worshipers.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Pete Sampras

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Raheem Sterling

Running

A married couple share the same pole vault.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Football

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".