End-of-days Explorer Pillows

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'I'll need to see some ID.'

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

Eyes on the Forest Floor

"Ahhhhh! Finally!" "Pssst. Don't do it. You're dreaming." "Don't go in there!"

The End is Relative

Magestically Marble Hill

Lady in Springtime

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

"My mom says I'll behaving a growing spurt, so I'll grow into these clothes soon."

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

'The usual, Mr, H'

"Willy here will be our guide, and according to him, this short walk should take about three months..."

Snack machine in EastEnders canteen has a sign saying: 'Well out of order.'

Colin knew things were going well when he saw his date trying to make him jealous.

Welcome to the Lake District.

Late at night the research assistant would videotape their shanigans.

'Everything else was sold out. Stop whining about the end zone seats.'

'I'll call you back. I'm out with the dog in the fields at the moment.'

'When you get up at night, be careful not to fall in the fishhole.'

Writer's block - Our literary gent has knocked out 1247 pages, but has come to a standstill when writing THE ......

"I love these Antiquing Weekends."

"It's time you started thinking about your future, young man ... "

'A room with a view! With a view to exacly what, sir?'

'Every dog has his day - But the nights belong to us.'

Preparation, limitations of: 'It's true then,' thought Selma, as the swift Samuri assassins scaled the inner walls and raced to the spot where she lay pinned...'there are some things you can't prepare for.'