End-of-days Explorer Pillows

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

A proctologist by trade, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

'I'll need to see some ID.'

Eyes on the Forest Floor

"Ahhhhh! Finally!" "Pssst. Don't do it. You're dreaming." "Don't go in there!"

Lady in Springtime

Magestically Marble Hill

The End is Relative

'Honey, I got locked in at the corner wine shop. Can you call the police and let them know - in about nine hours?'

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"My mom says I'll behaving a growing spurt, so I'll grow into these clothes soon."

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

'The usual, Mr, H'

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

"Willy here will be our guide, and according to him, this short walk should take about three months..."

Welcome to the Lake District.

Snack machine in EastEnders canteen has a sign saying: 'Well out of order.'

Colin knew things were going well when he saw his date trying to make him jealous.

Late at night the research assistant would videotape their shanigans.

'When you get up at night, be careful not to fall in the fishhole.'

'Everything else was sold out. Stop whining about the end zone seats.'

'I'll call you back. I'm out with the dog in the fields at the moment.'

Writer's block - Our literary gent has knocked out 1247 pages, but has come to a standstill when writing THE ......

"It's time you started thinking about your future, young man ... "

"I love these Antiquing Weekends."

'A room with a view! With a view to exacly what, sir?'

Scenic Route.

"Clown nose? No I'm not wearing a clown nose!"