Encyclopedia Sales Pillows

'I dunno-won't it make the wife MORE of the knowall she already is?'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

"Dinosaurs are cool!"

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"We need a better distribution system."

"Da, I know what opprobrium means."/ "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

Donald Trump

'That's like, so random!' (teenager reading about the laws of chance)

Singulars: spaghetto, broccolo, jacuzzo.

"I'm trying to find another word for thesaurus."

"It's a new word I created. I'm still working on a new definition for it."

"Hello, I'm Clifton Latimer."

"I've been to college, but I'm selling magazines to pay off my student loans."

Like every Tuesday, Dirk spends the evening working on his biography on Wikipedia.

Wordplay: Inverted.

"Colin never bothered with a seatbelt. The pub quiz team never recovered."

Irony - also spelled 'ironie', Ironie - also spelled 'irony'.

"Why don't you just apply for a government bailout, Daddy?"

'I've been reduced to a sexual innuendo'

Wordplay: Trash

"Congratulations, you just bought the book WE put up for auction!"

Art Gallery - Comics.

'How to survive chapter 11.'

'All that' - An episode of American History.

"I understand he's here on a business trip."